CALM – My Word of the Year

Hello there =)

Clicking around the internet as I do from time to time, ok all the time, I came across fellow bloggers who were crafting a Word of the Year.  This word will be their focus for 2015; it will give them meaning, a purpose and in the end lead to goals being met.

Check out the 2015 Words of the Year for Alyssa and Destiny.

I inadvertently created a Word of the Year for myself in 2014, Me.  I spent the year taking care of myself, losing some weight and making time to do things I wanted and enjoyed doing.  I learned how to say ‘no’ and how to do nothing, well sort of…

And so I set out to come up with my 2015 Word of the Year.  It needed to be something at the top of my mind at all times.  Something that would be a challenge yet attainable.  A word that I could live by and that would ultimately bring me peace, in and out.

It took me awhile to decide on my word of the year.  There were so many others that spoke to me and felt right: intention, passion, inspire, believe.  But reflecting on those words and what I felt I would have to do to live them made me a little tense, anxious.  Then I knew what the word had to be…

Calm.

I’ve always been a pretty even, keep your emotions in check kind of person. Not riled up very easily. Calm.  I’m the girl that others send in to their stressful situations to diffuse them or make crazy requests on their behalf.

Then, in 2008, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and went through a nasty round of steroid treatments.  Not. Pretty.  The aftermath of the steroids left me a little paranoid, antsy and prone to anxiety attacks.  I took me a good 4-5 years before I actually realized it was panic attacks and not low blood sugar I was suffering from.  The symptoms of both feel the same to me…

I may appear calm on the outside nowadays, but inside is a kicking and screaming mess. Heart racing, choking down tears, unreasonable doubt… sometimes for no apparent reason at all.

I need to be calm again.

But now that I can recognize the difference, I can step back and evaluate why this panic has happened.  Sometimes I need to go back to my Minute of Me mantra and take a minute to breathe or put myself in a time-out.  There are some people and situations I know will trigger anxiety and I avoid them.  Or get a glass of wine in me first.  I know, I know.  It’s not a good practice to get in the habit of, but it works in a pinch. ;)

So, to keep me from spending all my money on wine and being sloshed all day, I put together a list of things that help me mellow out.

• Cutting paper with a pair of scissors.  Seriously.  It works.
• Watching my fish tank
• Working out or going for a walk.
•  A Netflix night with my favorite guy

Look!  I even have a pair of socks with my 2015 Word of the Year on them =)

What’s your word of the year?  How are you going to achieve it?